Naughty Thursday Jokes
Enjoy, have a good laugh but try not to scare your neighbour yah? 
Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!
Signboard outside a prostitute’s house:
Married MEN not allowed.. We serve the needy, not the greedy.
New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.
Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today. tomorrow you’ll have to do it again.
Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.
Q: Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right handed.
(more…)
Sex Tape Titles
I asked this question on Plurk: If you have a sex tape and it was stolen, what title would you expect it to be labeled as when it hits the nearest DVD Pirate stalls?
Here’s some of the answers I got. Very creative indeed.
@梁先生 says home made asian couple amateur XXX – shaven.
@simonseow says stupid bugger that got his sex tape stolen from his home
@Rubina says Spices of Asia. (more…)
Vanessa Hudgens goes nude again!!!
Vanessa Hudgens did it again! This High School Musical star bares it all again.
Vanessa Hudgens is a naughty, naughty girl! You can read it all here.
Posters That Can Save Men!
Saw these posters at a restaurant I was having lunch at over the weekend. Just thought of sharing them, very good design. Sure comes in handy if it works. Right?
Here’s another one that caught my attention on the way into the restaurant. (more…)
Just Want To have Sex!
This news that was published by The Star is quite worrying for parents. I read it and I had a shiver, not only because I personally knew of some similar cases but also worry that if nothing right is done, my daughter and yours also could become part of the statistics which I definitely don’t want them to be.
The news report says that more underage girls are having sex to get back at their parents for neglecting them. This startling information was revealed by police who said that the girls had initially claimed they were raped but later admitted to have consented to sex with their boyfriends. (more…)
The Best Relationship Advice
Quite a good read… especially for those of you who’s in a relationship
#1. Polite Fight
“On my wedding-invitation RSVP cards, I left space for guests to write their favorite wedding wisdom. The tidbit that rings truest after almost nine months of marriage is: ‘Attack the issue, not each other.’ How it works: If my husband and I disagree about something, we stay focused on the issue and skip the personal put-downs.” — Melissa Gitter Schilowitz, 31, Metuchen, NJ
#2. Fit to a Tee
“My grandmother insisted that I learn how to play golf. ‘If your husband loves to play, you can go along and spend hours together,’ she said. So I took lessons, and now my husband and I hit the links once a month. We both love the game and are thrilled to share a hobby, even when we spend half an hour looking for my out-of-bounds balls!” — Aimee Borders, 27, Houston, TX
#3. Tabletop Trick
“My aunt told me that if I’m running late when it’s my turn to make dinner, just set the table. That way my husband thinks he’ll be eating any minute, so he doesn’t start complaining, which buys me some time. It’s a silly trick that sounds straight out of the 1950s, but I have to admit that I’ve tried it a few times in the three years I’ve been married — and it works!” — Dawn Clayton, 34, Holdrege, NE
#4. Boob-Tube Brilliance
“Because my husband is such a remote-control freak, my mom suggested that we have ‘my turn’ TV nights. That means three nights a week I get to hold the remote and watch whatever I want, and on the other nights it’s his turn to hold the remote and watch whatever he wants. Now when he starts flipping through the channels, it doesn’t get on my nerves like it used to.” — Angela Clayton, 27, Odenton, MD
#5. Pop the Question
“My sister-in-law passed this helpful hint on to me, and it has served me well for our five years of wedded bliss: ‘Marriage is not mind reading, so ask your spouse what he/she wants and believe what he/she says.’” — Clare Graca, 27, Dallas (more…)
Brother Want Sex with Sister
According to the news here, this guy is very sick, sick in the head. A 19 year old girl’s brother asked her for sex after fondling her on a motorcycle.
A police source said the suspect had come to fetch the victim home from her workplace in Kuala Selangor last Friday. Claiming to feel sleepy, the suspect then made the victim ride the motorcycle back to their house in Taman Permai, Jeram, while he rode pillion.
It was then that he took advantage of her. When the stunned victim slapped and scolded him, the suspect threatened to hurt her if she told the family. The victim then confided in her fiance before lodging a police report. Police are now looking for the suspect, who is believed to have gone into hiding.
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Great T-Shirt to wear these days
Got this image from a friend recently and what it stated really is suitable.
Don’t you agree?
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Sex in the Dark
This one had been in circulation for quite some time now, but still is a good laugh.
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figures she would break him of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device… A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. ‘You impotent bastard,’ She screamed at him, ‘How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!’
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
‘I’ll explain the toy. .. You explain the kids.’
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Learn English with GROs
According to this news on The Star, now you can also learn the English language when you patronize GROs at their “Entertainment” outlets. In this latest development, Guest Relations Officers (GROs) in Johor Baru are now offering two-in-one services — they not only provide sex but also English lessons.
What other service industry players offer this kind of service? As far as I know, they are the only one that could make the men happy and teach them english at the same time. A source said the GROs realized that most of their clients were not fluent in the english language and decided to add the extra service to help their clients communicate better in English. This extra service does not have a fixed price and payment was at the discretion of the client.
“After falling for the flirtatious ways of the GROs and the extra English lessons, the client usually comes back to the entertainment centre to seek their services,” the unnamed source said. This is a call to all the other service industry, time to buck up or you’re going to fall behind. These GROs will definitely win this year’s Best Service Industry Player Award, well, in my book that is.
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China’s very own Initial D and Singapore’s very own Edison Chen?
Saw this video from Harmony’s blog and gave me a great laugh watching it. Forget about AE86, this Shanzhai Drifter from China goes around with his small cargo delivery truck!
Awesome right? Now, for the other part, this guy named Gary Ng a.k.a GaryNg174 made a name for himself posting up videos of himself having sex with not 1, not 2 but 22 women (and he made 33 videos in total). The video in a way act as his ‘proof of conquests’? (more…)
18SX laughter
Just for laugh, if you feel offended, click the X at the top of your browser.
A young Chinese girl had been taught all her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him.
So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Chinese bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her husband’s clothes and accidentally let out a big fart. She looked up and said:
‘Aww so sowwy… excuse prease, front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud.’
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2008 Round Up
Just that time of the year where I look back at the 10 most memorable (in no particular order) things in 2008 I could remember through blogging. Won’t touch on what happened around me (just what I’ve experienced as a blogger whether it happened to me or around me or something I read and have a good laugh about).
- Getting to know StrippedSteph
- Nuffnang Parties (Here’s the latest one I went to)
- Getting to know many new friends through the world of blogging
- Getting inquiries through the blog for my services (which is awesome)
- Getting Request to do food reviews by restaurants around the Klang Valley
- Got the chance to rub shoulders with Celebrities
- Linking up with some old friends from school and college days (Thanks to Google and Facebook)
- Xia Xue vs Dawn Yang Saga
- The Kenny Sia, ICQ & SamPoh Love/Hate/Sex Triangle (Don’t tell me you didn’t know about it!)
- Rediscovering myself which to me is a huge thing.
How was your 2008? Many laughs, joys, gossips, scandals, parties?
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Why Sex?
Happy Belated Boxing Day peeps! How did everyone got through their Christmas holiday? All still have their limps intact? Got this through an email, just throught I’d share this interesting information with you people.
+Some stuff on the men+
1) 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need to use extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 4-5 inches long when erect; no matter what you have heard ladies, that’s the truth. Incidentally the average vaginal capacity is only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle king dong.
3) 80% of American men are circumcise, though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say nothing but time can make your penis grow. (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20’s)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size. (more…)
Ai Iijima (飯島愛) Passed Away
Ai Iijima (飯島愛) (October 31, 1972 – c. December 24, 2008) was found dead at her Tokyo Apartment att about 3:30 p.m. on December 24, 2008 (JST). The Japanese Police is currently investigating her death. For those of you who doesn’t know who she is. You can read more of her here. Truly a sad lost to the Japanese Entertainment Industry and at such a young age! Alot of her fans are devastated by the news of her death.
“There were few signs of foul play. We will conduct a post mortem tomorrow to determine if the cause of her death was an illness, suicide or something of a criminal nature,” a police spokesman said. (more…)
Do Men Remember Anniversaries?
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
‘What’s the matter, dear?‘ she whispers as she steps into the room, ‘Why are you down here at this time of night?’
The husband looks up from his coffee, ‘I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?’ he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
‘Yes, I do‘ she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?’
‘Yes, I remember!’ said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. ‘Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?‘
‘I remember that too‘ she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says…
‘I would have been released today.‘
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Calories Burned During Sex
Here’s something interesting for you readers.
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Most Embarrasing Sex Moment
I know, I know, it isn’t an original post whatsoever, just thought I’d post up something for anyone who comes in here to read. Well, at least until I get to Singapore and get some stuff moving. Packed schedule ahead so need to get my schedules sorted in this trip. Back to back meetings all the way!
Anyway, want to share your most embarrassing sex moments?
Here’s a write up from news.com.au recently. I’ll just cut and paste the whole thing here. The original is here. Well, like I said, I’m just putting it up to take up space and for you to have a good read even if it’s not written by me. It’s still a good read right?
IT has happened to all of us, whether we are over-enthusiastic youngsters or experienced players in the sack. It’s those embarrassing sex moments.
If you watch Hollywood movies having sex is supposed to blissful, problem free but the reality is so different and this applies, from time-to-time, to almost everyone who does it.
And of course it is downright embarrassing.
No one wants to put someone down in the lovemaking stakes and the truth is that most sexual partners will forgive and hopefully forget.
To help overcome the bedroom, office and car blunders in sext, it’s advised to remember the following:
Sex Can Be Clumsy
Whether accidentally knocking heads, pulling hair or taking an elbow in the eye, it’s important to remember that our movements aren’t as well orchestrated as that of a symphony.
Bodies bumping up against one another can get out of control and out of sync.
This is especially true in tight quarters, like one’s car, where lovers feel lucky just to move around. In freeing a limb or swinging a foot or trying to turn over, something is going to be in the way.
Don’t make a bigger deal out of the klutzy situation than is warranted. Just kiss the boo-boo, make it feel better, and get on with things.
A Full Bladder is No Fun (more…)
