U Can’t Bluff After A 69
After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times & on top of that gargled 1 litre of Listerine. As he arrived at the dentist he sucked 2 strong mints. →
Holy Prostitutes
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye.....It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought..... Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS →
Porch – Dumb Blonde Joke
A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint →
Where To Cross The Border?
If You Cross The North Korean Border Illegally You get 12 years Hard Labour. If You Cross The Iranian Border Illegally You Are Detained Indefinitely. If You Cross The Afghan Border Illegally, You Get Shot. If You Cross The Saudi Arabian Border Illegally You Will Be Jailed. If You Cross The Chinese Border Illegally You May Never Be Heard Again. If You Cross The Venezuelan Border Illegally You Will Be Branded →
Cock Story
A farmer rears 25 young hens and 1 old cock. As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market. Old cock: "Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity." Young cock: "What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should retire." Old cock: "Young boy, there →
I e-meow you, you e-meow me
Dear Ah Lian Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find. You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly. You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take →
Urgent Request!
Whoever forgot his wife at my place after last night's party, please come and collect her ASAP! It is not that she embarrasses me, but mine's coming back tonight! JOKING!!! JOKING!! :p
Don’t lie to kids
There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl says, 'What's under there?' The man answers, 'A bird.' The girl goes away and the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he is in a hospital and in great pain. A doctor comes →
Ah Beng’s Guide to Wine Tasting
Wine: Pinot Noir(France) Label: Joseph Drouhin Laforet, Bourgogne Color: Red How ATAS people describe it: The hue has a brilliant ruby-garnet color. The nose offers effusive aromas of crushed berries. (On the palate, the wine is full of charm and very pleasant to drink); fresh and fruity berry flavors with light and elegant tannins. The Ah Beng Way: This one red-red coror one, smell →
Punjabi Mathematics
Punjabi woman says to her mother: 'I'm divorcing Kuldip... all he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent coin when it used to be the size of a 5 cent coin.' Mother responds: 'You're married to a millionaire lawyer ... you live in an 8 bedroom mansion in Taman Tun.... you drive a Mercedes ... you get RM10,000 a week allowance ... you take 6 →
Pre-takeoff Announcement on a China Southern Airlines Flight
This is a true account of what was heard on a recent flight from Shenzhen to Qingtao by China Southern Airlines: "Good afternoon, Ladies and the German. This is your cheap purser Wang Lui speaking. On behalf of China Sudden Airlines, I would like to welcome you on board our Bowling 737 from Shenzhen to Qingtao. Members of my crew speak Chinese and →
DEAF WIFE…..
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing →
How Man can Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13.. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynaecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23.. →
How Ah Lian performs at Interview
Ah Hua went for a job interview to be a secretary. When the manager saw Ah Hua's colorful attire and gold, white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming, 'NOT THIS WOMAN!!!'. so chekai, Nevertheless, he still had to interview Ah Hua. So he told Ah Hua,'If you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then I will give you →
Dynamite, Baby, YEAH!!
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a Great chest you have!' He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He takes off his pants and the blonde says,'What massive calves you have!' The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming →
Lawyer Joke
It's the weekend, it's all fun and games and to most of you, time to party!, here's some jokes to share with those of you who's just waking up, getting ready for Hennessy Artistry or whichever party you're going to. Abdul grew up in Kota Baru, a town located on the East Coast of Malaysia, and then moved away to Kuala →
Best divorce letter !!
The best damn Divorce letter I've ever read.... Dear Husband, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was →
How To Get Ready For Work In 5min
How to get ready for work from waking up to out of house in 5 min? Don't know? Let this guy show you. Willing to give this a try?
Would You Love This Type Of ATM Machine?
Check out this Jinnai Tomonori skit, what if you come across an ATM Machine that acts this way? Great ATM machine eh? I'm sure you have a great laugh
Working Late
I know a lot of people out there are working doubly hard due to the hard times. BUT, what if this happens in your work environment? Moral of the story: In these days of cost cutting, leave office early!!
Pregnancy Joke
Just thought of posting something up for laughs, this is quite an old one I received in the email. An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the →
