TimeOut Comedy Thursday September 2010 Edition – Photos

Every 1st Thursday of the month, TimeOut KL will host a myriad of comedians at Zouk KL’s Velvet where they will go head to head with the audience, to make them laugh and to make sure everyone go home after a good night of laughter.

September 2nd was no different but the crowd was tough, very tough. Even the more seasoned comedians could not tickle the crowd’s funny bone and only a few manage to pull it off. (more…)

U Can’t Bluff After A 69

After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss 8 times & on top of that gargled 1 litre of Listerine.

As he arrived at the dentist he sucked 2 strong mints. His turn came up & the dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed, Jerry opened his mouth wide.

The dentist got close enough & said, “Man, did you have 69 before you came here”?

“Why”? Jerry asked, “Does my breath smell like pussy”?

“No” The dentist replied, “Your forehead smells like shit.”

Holy Prostitutes

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye…..It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought…..

Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot ! is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: (more…)

Porch – Dumb Blonde Joke

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,” he said, “How much will you charge me?” Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

His wife overhearing their conversation said to him…”Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house? He responded, “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it? The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we’ve been getting by email lately.”

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” the startled husband asked. “Yes, the blonde replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00, and handed her a $10.00 tip.

Thank you! she said. “And by the way, “the blonde added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”

Where To Cross The Border?

If You Cross The North Korean Border Illegally
You get 12 years Hard Labour.

If You Cross The Iranian Border Illegally
You Are Detained Indefinitely.

If You Cross The Afghan Border Illegally,
You Get Shot.

If You Cross The Saudi Arabian Border Illegally
You Will Be Jailed.

If You Cross The Chinese Border Illegally
You May Never Be Heard Again. (more…)