Carpe Diem

Posts Tagged ‘asshole’

Punjabi Mathematics

Punjabi woman says to her mother:
‘I’m divorcing Kuldip… all he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent coin  when it used to be the size of a 5 cent coin.’

Mother responds:
‘You’re married to a millionaire lawyer …
you live in an 8 bedroom mansion in Taman Tun….
you drive a Mercedes …
you get RM10,000 a week allowance …
you take 6 vacations a year …..

……….and you want to throw all that away for 45 cents?’


The Person In Charge is…

This is quite an old one that has been in circulation for quite a while now…

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.

‘I should be in charge,’ said the brain,
‘Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the blood ,
‘because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away .’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the stomach ,
‘because I process food and give all of you energy.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the legs,
‘because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.’

‘I should be in charge,’ said the eyes,
‘Because I allow the body to see where it goes.’ (more…)